About Silly Point

Silly point is the fielding position closest to the batter, so close it is faintly ridiculous, occupied by whoever the captain trusts least to be anywhere else. It is where I was put so the captain could see me. It is where I stayed.

This page points at the silly things in cricket and loves them. Everything here is satire. The facts are real and checked. The grudges are mine. The joke markets at the bottom of every piece are not markets.

Who is writing this

I play first or second team for a club in Perth's northern suburbs that I will not name because they still owe me a shirt. I bat nine and slog. I bowl what I believe is fast and what the scorer records as medium. I field wherever I end up. I drop dollies and catch screamers, and there is no middle ground.

My career highlight is a hat-trick. The third wicket was a 12-year-old. I count it.

By day I work in the industry, which means I know exactly how much goes into putting a number on a cricket match, and exactly how many people think they could do it better from the couch. I used to be one of them. I came to the job the honest way, as a punter who got burned. My sharpest bet was backing anyone at 1.01 against Ivory Coast.

I support the Proteas from Perth, which makes every Australia v South Africa series a domestic dispute. I am not joking about Aiden Markram.

Standing grudges

Fielding. Shit bowlers getting wickets. Being given out when I am actually out. The cold side of the pillow turning warm after exactly 45 seconds. The ECB and the word "rigorous." The PCB's lazy Susan. The ICC Anti-Corruption Unit's one sentence. Cricket Australia's venue tourism. The east coast. The BCCI being fine. Inventory. Franchise names. Bet builders. Fast bowlers after midnight. Australia beating South Africa.

The small print

I take the piss out of decisions, statements, results and press releases, and out of myself more than anyone. I leave people's looks, families and private lives alone. I don't make up quotes, and I don't say anyone fixed a match or broke a law unless a court or a governing body got there first. If I couldn't read a piece out loud to the bloke it's about, it doesn't go up.

Complaints to silly point, where I will be, wandering. @SillyPointPerth