Silly PointCricket's silliest fielding position, now with opinions.
SatireWritten from PerthNot a tipster
2026-09-05Betting angle: none

Bangladesh Won a Test in Darwin, So Australia Held the Next One in Mackay

Twenty-three years without a win in Australia, then one in a ground built for Aussie rules, then a reply at a venue named after something you can see from space.

In this piece
  1. Darwin
  2. Mackay
  3. No. 1, by attendance
  4. Perth
  5. Things I loved
  6. Markets that do not exist but should

Darwin

Twenty-three years, one ball, one cushion.
Twenty-three years, one ball, one cushion.

Bangladesh first toured Australia in 2003. They had been losing here, on and off, ever since. On 16 August at Marrara Oval, Darwin, a ground for Aussie rules with air you could lean on, they won a Test by nine wickets.

Tanzid Hasan made their first Test hundred on Australian soil. Hasan Mahmud took 6 for 55, the best by a Bangladeshi against Australia. Shoriful Islam took 7 for 48, the best by a Bangladeshi fast bowler against anyone, anywhere, ever. Two seamers, best figures of their lives, same match, in Darwin, in August, in front of nobody. Cricket Australia put the Test there because nobody would be watching. Nobody was. Now everybody has to say they were.

Mackay

Australia's response was to move the second Test to the Great Barrier Reef Arena in Mackay. Twelfth Test venue in the country. First one named after something visible from orbit. You can see the reef from space. You cannot see the ground from the reef.

Australia won by an innings and 51. Starc took 6 for 12 in the first innings, which looks like a typo, and 4 for 39 in the second. Cameron Green made 184 in the series, most by anyone, which for Green counts as a fully fit fortnight. Series drawn 1-1. Bangladesh will remember it forever. Australia will remember it as the time they had to go to Mackay.

No. 1, by attendance

Decided the way committees choose a chairman: whoever turned up.
Decided the way committees choose a chairman: whoever turned up.

Twelve wickets in two Tests. Player of the Series. On 26 August Starc became the world's No. 1 Test bowler for the first time in a career that started in 2011. Ten points clear of Bumrah, who had held the spot since early 2024 and lost it by not playing: ruled out of India's Sri Lanka tour on 3 August, knee. Rankings decay when you sit still. The best bowler in the world was overtaken by a 36-year-old who happened to have a series in the diary.

This is how you become chairman of a committee. Nobody in Australia is complaining. Nobody in India believes it. Both correct.

Perth

From here, Darwin is the nearest Test venue other than the one down the road. Four-hour flight. Perth has hosted Tests since 1970. Perth has never had Boxing Day. There will be a Test in a Queensland car park before that changes. I have made my peace with it, in that I mention it every week.

Australia have now played Tests in Darwin, Mackay, and, before either, a great many places with a proper airport. The board's venue strategy is a man trying to visit every branch of a regional bank. The 13th ground will be named after a car park. I'll go.

Things I loved

  • Shoriful's 7 for 48, the best figures by a Bangladeshi quick anywhere, taken where nobody was looking.
  • A Test ground named after the reef. The reef has not commented.
  • Starc to No. 1 at 36, by turning up. Turning up is most of it. Nobody tells you that at 19.

Markets that do not exist but should

MarketPrice
Australia's 13th Test venue to be reachable by scheduled flight6/4
Cricket Australia to call Darwin "a valuable learning experience"1/20
Perth to get Boxing Day500/1
A Queensland car park to get it first6/4
None of these are real. Please do not ring anyone.